The Inheritance
by fadedink26
Summary: AU- Holly Stewart was a busy woman with no time for a baby or romance. So when she finds herself with a baby, she's out of her depth and doesn't have a clue. So who better to give her those one on on parenting lessons than the gorgeous Police Officer Gail Peck! Find out what happens when the two things Holly thought she didn't want, turns into what she needs the most.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Inheritance

Pairing: Gail Peck/ Holly Stewart

Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Family

Summary: AU- Successful Forensic Pathologist Dr. Holly Stewart was a busy woman with a five-year plan that didn't include a baby or romance. So when she finds herself in the care of her friend's child, she's out of her depth and doesn't have a clue. She's in need some child care lessons fast! Who better to teach her than the gorgeous Police Officer Gail Peck who always seem to be a call away and slowly stealing her guarded heart. So what happens when the two things Holly thought she didn't want, becomes what she needs the most?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Gail Peck and Holly Stewart, they are the product of the TV show Rookie Blue. I'm only taking them out for a spin.

**_Chapter 1_**

_" … __And what this all boils down to is - You're a mother." _the attorney had said_. _Those words kept echoing in my mind over and over again.

You're a mother...

You're a mother…

But that was the problem, no matter what the attorney had said, I wasn't a mother. What I was ... suddenly and without warning or reason for that matter, was the guardian of my late friend's baby boy, Camden.

Camden, who for the past two hours had been in the middle of my lovely downtown Toronto apartment screaming his little head off.

"Please be quiet." I begged. "I don't know what you want and I've already had four complaints from my neighbors." I pleaded, but of course my seven-month old charge went right on wailing. Then the phone rang to add to the cacophony. "Good grief!"

I considered not answering it. I was sure it was another complaint from my neighbours, but the ringing seemed to agitate Camden even more, leaving me no choice but to pick up the intrusive device.

"Hello, Mr. Ewbanks or is it Mrs. Holland?" My tone was edged with a warning. It was Mr. Ewbanks from next door. "Yes… Yes. I know. You like going to bed early and the noise is keeping you awake." I said rephrasing his complaint. "I'm doing the best I can…" _It's not like the kid comes with an off button. _"I apologize for the disturbance Mr. Ewbanks, but you may have to bear with me for the time being." I told him trying to smooth things over. My attempt at making peace gave the impression that we were only in this for a short duration, but to be fair, I actually had about five or six long (and dare I say it) noise filled days of Camden ahead of me.

Which was my own fault.

The attorney had wanted to meet with me yesterday but I had been too busy and having no idea what the meeting was about, I had foolish delayed him until 6pm tonight.

Friday night.

Friday of a long holiday weekend, when all the agencies were closed until after Christmas. Which meant I was stuck, with no hopes of calling Social Services or a private adoption agency to begin the process of finding Camden a more suitable home, with knowledgeable and adept caretakers. So for the next few days, I was in possession of a child that I had absolutely no idea what to do with, but Mr. Ewbanks didn't need to know those details.

Not that it would have helped.

He ignored my apology and started shouting, demanding that I quiet the child or he was going to call the police and report me as a child abuser. Then he proceeded to slam the phone in my ear.

"What a turd!" I made a nasty face at the phone before hanging up, only to lift the handset again to leave it off the hook. At least one problem was solved… but my bigger problem of Camden remained. He was still strapped in the infant carrier on my coffee table, which was exactly where I had set him down since arriving home.

"I don't understand, you were so good at the lawyer's office." I lamented, recalling how Cam had slept like an angel. He had those long dark lashes that rested on chubby cheeks and his tiny hands were in two fists up near his rosebud mouth. He seemed so perfect then. The attorney had even carried and strapped a sleeping Cam to my car. At the stoplight I had even checked to see if he was still breathing. That's how soundless he'd been, but three blocks from the law office he had woken and hadn't stopped screaming since.

"Just go back to sleep." I begged, my voice barely audible over the racket that I prayed would die down soon, if I could just wait it out.

Then to make things more uncomfortable, I was feeling hot all of a sudden, the air conditioning didn't seem to be cooling the space. I was roasting in my work attire. "I'll be right back." I informed Cam before making a dash to my bedroom in search of flimsy pajama pants and a tank top from my dresser. I couldn't help but catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked…

Haggard and disheveled.

Like I'd been run through a wringer.

My blush … gone.

Lipstick … eaten away.

Leaving my skin pale and my cupid bow almost indistinguishable. My brown eyes were wider than usual ...like I was afraid of something.

I was afraid…. of a baby.

Not even a new haircut had been able to keep my brunette mane in place.

"You are probably scaring the kid Holly." I told my reflection as I dragged fingers through my hair, then reluctantly returned to the baby.

The still crying baby.

"Listen." I told him my voice laced with desperation. "You have to help me out here. I am a doctor. The kind that deals with humans ...that are … less alive than yourself and most times by the time when they reach me...they are well … just bones." I explained. "I don't even have a pet … not that you are a pet. I just can't be anyone's mother. I've never been around babies outside of a medical setting and those babies were well …. and the one time in my life when I was…, something bad happened. So what I'm saying is, I don't know what to do with you. So if you will please just go back to sleep, I have a plan that will make everything okay when you wake up tomorrow."

Naturally Camden was uninterested but I was at my wits end and felt compelled to explain further. "You see, my assistant Anna is great at everything. She'll know how to take care of you, but right now she's on her way to Quebec for the holidays, but when her plane lands I can give her a call. If I can convince her to come back, she will be able to do whatever it needs to be done to make you happy but you can't cry for the next few hours until I can get her here. So if you go to sleep until then, we will all be better off." By the end my voice was as loud as the tiny noisemaker and just as upset. So I took a breath – a ragged one and tried to gain some control. I hadn't quite accomplished it when the sound of a knock on my front door broke through the apartment.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was sure it was one of my neighbours here to complain, or the police that Mr. Ewbanks had threatened to call. If my apartment had a backdoor. I probably would have used it but I also knew I had to face whoever was on the other side of the door. So with my stomach in knots, I opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the police.

More accurately, it was a policewoman, looking sharp in her navy blue uniform, accessorized by a bulletproof vest and a radio just above her left shoulder. Officer 'Peck' read her name tag and I couldn't help but notice how attractive a woman she was. I'd seen her once or twice from a distance at the police station since I'd started working at the 15th Division a few weeks before. But attractive or not, I was convinced she was here (as prompted by Mr. Ewbanks) to register her lack of appreciation for the decibel level or worse lock me up for child endangerment and I was too frazzled to give her a chance, so I launched into my own diatribe.

"Officer Peck." I began. "I know I'm disturbing everyone around here, but that's just the way it is and the way it will probably stay for a while, because as unbelievable as it sounds, I have just inherited a baby. A baby I have no idea what to do with him and I've asked him to just be quiet and go back to sleep but that's not working - at all. So I guess we'll just have to suffer until he wears himself out."

Meltdown.

I was having a meltdown right in front of this woman, but she just stood staring at me with an impressive amount of patience. Then she craned her head enough to look past me.

"May I?"

It took me a while to realize she was offering some form of aid and I stepped aside quickly and ushered her in with an elaborate wave of my hand.

Why did I do that? Goof.

"Be my guest." I said my voice filled with frustration.

"Leave the door open." The officer instructed as she moved further into my apartment. I watched as she unfastened the straps that held Camden in his car seat and lifted him out like a pro. "Diaper." My expression must have told her that I didn't have a clue where to get one of those because then she asked. "Did he come with equipment? Like a bag?"

"Yes, a duffle bag." I said recalling the large bag. "I thought it only had clothes. I'll go get it." I said heading back to the front door where I had deposited the bag earlier.

I felt foolish for not having thought of a diaper change or looking into the bag but who could blame me? It was next to impossible to gather a clear thought with all this noise. Once I'd brought it back, I set it down on the floor and opened it. Sure enough there was a package of disposable diapers on top. I handed one to the officer.

I watched as she laid Camden on the sofa and unsnapped the onesie, making quick work of changing his very wet diaper. A minute later, with a few more items from the bag she was placing a dry diaper on and refastening the snaps on his clothes.

"Is there something in there to feed him? Or at least instructions for it?" She asked amidst Camden's continuing cries.

Again I turned to the duffle. Finding a typed written sheet of paper informing me that about the time Camden was handed over to me, I should have given him an evening meal of strained peas and carrots, followed by a bottle.

Again I felt foolish.

"Let's just try the bottle for now." the officer suggested. I quickly located a Ziploc bag in the duffle that held several bottles, but they were all empty. Further inspection of the side pockets led to the discovery of a tin of baby formula. I was starting to think this bag would be my saviour. "Let's heat some water in the microwave for now, about 30 seconds. Fill the bottle to where the level says eight, then add 8 scoops. Lock and shake. Let's get some food into this baby's stomach."

I did as I was told, like a robot ready to accept and perform commands but with no independent thought process of my own. I returned with the bottle and handed it to Officer Peck without a single thought of feeding Camden myself. Instead I watched as she expertly test the temperature of the milk on the inside of her wrist before she judged it as acceptable. She then settled back onto the couch with the infant in her arms offering the nipple that Camden latched onto as if he was starving to death.

My heart sunk. I had starved the baby.

But like magic, the moment the bottle was in Cam's mouth, silence reigned. I closed my eyes again, only this time it was in sheer bliss. "Nothing has ever sounded as good as that." I said before opening my eyes again. "Thank you."

"Sure." The officer said amiably enough.

I collapsed into the oversize leather chair that sat right angled to the sofa as relief settled over me and took my first real look at my helpful police officer. She had a very distinctive shade of short cropped blond hair, with a face of well-proportioned arches and planes. Her skin was flawless, adorned by long lashes and soul piercing blue eyes. It occurred to me that those scant sightings of her in the past that had calculated her in my mind as attractive hadn't done her any justice. Officer Peck wasn't merely attractive. She was breathtakingly, staggeringly beautiful.

"My name is Holly Stewart, by the way." I finally said, only now just realizing we had not introduced ourselves. Cam's needs had rendered it irrelevant until now.

"Gail Peck." she countered and I was surprised she volunteered her first name.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. I'm in way over my head with this whole baby thing."

I saw Gail smile, a small smile that put a dimple just off the right corner of her mouth. "That's okay. Seemed like the only way to give this apartment block some peace and not arrest you for child endangerment as per Mr. Ewbanks request." she joked a bit warily.

"You're surprisingly good at it though." I said, observing Camden, who was gazing up at her as he took his bottle.

"I'm an old hand." My confusion must have been obvious in my expression because then she said. "That little girl I drag around with me is my daughter, Ella. Her daycare is across the road from the precinct so I do have some on the job experience." Gail finished.

So she had seen me at the station as well … interesting, but if Gail Peck had had a child with her any of the times I had seen her, I hadn't paid enough attention to the child for it to have registered. It was bad enough that I was so inept when it came to Camden, but I didn't want to admit that I hadn't even noticed her daughter.

"Your husband must be happy to have so much help with her, even with your demanding job." I commented, now wondering if I'd encountered the husband and overlooked him too.

"No ... wife." Gail corrected. "It's only Ella and me."

I swear I hadn't been trying to find out if she was a lesbian, like myself or single for that matter, but for some bizarre reason, hearing that she was pleased me. Probably it was just that I didn't want anyone, knowing over 'pillow talk' that I was so lacking in maternal instincts. Certainly it wasn't that I was interested in Officer Peck. There wasn't any more room in my schedule for a relationship than there was for a baby, and no one knew that better than me.

Gail nodded down at Camden then, "Looks like he's falling asleep and we'll be able to put him down for the night." I breathed a sigh of relief at that news. "Is his crib in the other room?" she asked.

"Crib?"

"That's where babies sleep ...in cribs."

"I don't have one." I frowned with a new wave of tension making my relief short-lived.

"No crib?" The Officer's well shaped eyebrows arched slightly at that information.

"No, nothing." I sighed. "Being left as Camden's guardian came without any warning and I couldn't be more unprepared."

Gail shook her beautiful head. "I think as my reward for tonight, I want to hear how you came to inherit a baby and without any warning." She seemed to smile then. "But for now we'd better make sleeping arrangements for him. Do you have a thick blanket you can lay on the floor at least?"

"I can, but that seems so mean." I was horrified. "I don't mind if he sleeps in the guest bed."

Still patient, Gail explained. "Babies at this age roll off regular beds. What I had in mind was you laying out a blanket so I can put him down and I'll go get my portable crib. I'll lend it to you." she explained. "I'm also at the end of my shift, so I'll swing by my apartment and get it. I live about 10 minutes' walk from here."

"Honestly? That's very nice of you."

"No big deal."

But I was starting to realize how terrified I was of Camden waking up and beginning that inconsolable crying again, everything Gail was doing WAS a big deal.

"Blanket." I said reminding myself and to remove my focus off the woman I was having trouble not staring at.

"Blanket," Gail confirmed.

I headed for my linen closet and pulled out a large blanket before I spotted a baby blanket in the duffle. This bag was a life saviour for sure. The baby blanket was soft, blue and yellow quilt with adorable hockey sticks scattered across it. I couldn't help but wonder if Cam would grow up to play hockey someday.

First I doubled my blanket and spread it across thick carpeted floor, then placed the baby's own on it. When I had smoothed it out, Gail set the empty baby bottle on the coffee table, burped Camden and brought him to lie on the blanket. I held my breath in fear that his big brown eyes would fly open and the wailing would begin all over again, but amazingly Cam stayed quietly snoozing.

"You're a miracle worker." I whispered.

"Not quite." Gail smiled. "For the most part babies can be made happy with dry diapers, full stomachs, rest and a little attention." I repeated the four things making a genuine effort to commit them to memory. Something about that seemed to amuse Gail. She looked as if she was fighting not to laugh. Then she leaned in close enough to my ear so that I could feel a warm gust against my skin. "It's not that complicated." she assured.

"Dissecting bodies is not that complicated. Babies are a whole different world to me."

"Peck? Everything sorted here?" another police officer had come to the door, peeping inside as he spoke and we stepped back uncomfortably, as if being caught. "Mr Ewbanks has settled down. We don't have to …" he instantly recognized me and his smile grew. "... take Dr. Stewart in for breach of the peace." There was a hint of laughter behind his comment.

"Thanks, Officer Diaz." I smiled and he tipped his head to me.

"You will get the hang of it. We all do." Gail promised me with a touch of my arm.

I felt goose bumps.

"Famous last words." I muttered, trying not to think about the last time that had been said to me and what had happened to disprove it.

But Gail didn't question my comment. Her radio had buzzed to life and she relayed some information before she headed for the open door. "Let me get that crib." was her parting words before I watched them leave. Which I probably shouldn't have, because not only did watching her go make me very aware how sexy she was with her slender shoulders, narrow waist, curved hips and worse than all that, a great rear end.

A rear end to die for.

Sadly none of which was relevant or should have been distracting me from the major problem of Camden but it was nice to look and just appreciate right?

Right.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Holly)**

When they were gone I closed the door and leaned against it. Gail would be back. Camden would be fine on the floor for the time being and more importantly he would not wake up.

Please do not wake up.

There was simply nothing for me to do but wait at this point. So I moved back the the living room and went to sit on the couch only to land on the TV remote, making the TV boom to life with noise and light.

Camden made a cry of discomfort.

I panicked.

And scrambled for the remote, turning of the device but my breath was held as Camden made another small sound. I sent a silent plea. He shifted made another cry before settling back to sleep.

Problem averted.

When Officer Gail Peck returned about fifteen minutes later with crib in tow, my heart took a fully inappropriate leap of joy at having her back with me. A leap of joy that wasn't entirely due to the help she was supplying for my current predicament. She rested the crib down for a moment and removed her bag and winter jacket. Being a good host, I took them from her and placed them on the coat rack by the door.

"Where do you want it?" she asked, yanking me out of my reverie.

"In the guest bedroom. I suppose." I said now leading the way and for the first time wishing I'd changed into something better and fixed my hair. Even though I had no business wishing that at all.

My guest room only had a twin sized bed, so it provided ample space for a crib. I leaned against the opened doorway and watched as she expertly assembled the crib. She had change from her uniform and was now wearing skin hugging dark blue jean, with a grey sweater top.

Once Gail had set it up, she pulled the blinds on the curtainless windows. Then returned to the living room and brought a still sleeping Cam, quilt and all back with her and laid him carefully in the small crib, where the baby curled onto his side, put a thumb in his mouth and kept right on sleeping.

And then, and only then did I truly relax.

"I owe you big time for this." I told Gail once we had silently left the bedroom and were safely in the living room again, " You can't even begin to imagine what you've done for me."

"Its okay." she assured me.

"I hate to ask for even more, but do you think you could run the quick course in baby care for by me so I'll know what to do if he wakes up in a hour?" I asked. Thinking that maybe I could learn just enough not to have to drag my assistant back from Quebec.

"Sure." Gail said. "That's why I brought this." she pulled from her baby a doll that had seen better days and I eyed the toy curiously. "It's Ella's but I figure you could practice diaper changing."

"Um...diaper changing?" I frowned. "He'll need another one? You just changed..." I asked foolishly.

"And about one hundred more to come." she told me patiently.

"Oh" I could not hide my horror. Of all the things I needed to learn. I was looking forward to this the least.

"Now lets see what you do know." Gail handed me the doll and I placed it on the coffee table as we settled in the couch. "Lift the legs like this." she instructed. "and place the clean diaper under the baby, tabs to the back. Good." she commented when I had done something right. "Always remember to wipe from front to back." I nodded understanding how important that bit of detail would be then I awkwardly tried to snap on the diaper, only to get my fingers stuck under one of the tabs." I groaned. "Don't worry…" our hands touched as she aided the release of my finger and I felt my pulse quicken. "You did well." Gail assured but I wasn't sure of that. If I could barely put on a diaper on a stationary toy, how would I fear against a screaming squirming baby?

Gail then did a brief summary of the things I should do both if Camden woke up in only a short time and to get the next day going. I concentrated so hard it must have shown because then she asked. "You really are in no-man's land with this baby, arent you?"

"Oh, you have no idea how far into no-man's land I am." I answered.

"You are going to need gear for him too." Gail observed. I watched her hesitate, as if weighing her words before she said." You know tomorrow Ella and I have to go to the kid's warehouse - she's outgrowing her high chair and needs a booster seat instead. They have everything you need for about any age child. You and the baby are welcome to come along. I could point out what you should have for him and do a little more of the how-to-take-of-care-of-a-baby lecture. If you want."

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I didn't require too much equipment as Camden would only be here for the next three to five days, but then realised that like the portable crib there were definitely other things I needed and that in the process of acquiring them I could also gain more information to help Camden through those days a little better and a little more safely. And the fact that accepting Gail's help also meant I would get to see her gain certainly wasn't a negative.

"If that wouldn't ruin plans for you, it would be great for me." I answered.

"Ella and I didn't have any plans other than the kid store."

"Great. Then its a date." Those were a bad choice of words the minute I said them. "Well..." I amended in a hurry. "Not a date, but you know a plan. Its a great plan."

Gail Peck smiled that small smile again, but didn't address my blunder. Instead she said, "I know you said your baby's name but I cant remember it."

"Really he isn't my baby." I said because merely referring to Camden in that way threw me into a panic. Which caused Gail to frown, but I ignored my frantic qualification and answered her question. "Camden. The bay's name is Camden."

Gail still looked confused but she left the other comment slide and instead asked. "Do you think you can make it with Camden on your own until afternoon?"

"The best I can say is that I'll try." I concluded.

She chuckled at that. "If you get stuck, just give me a call." she said and took out a card from her jeans pocket and handed it to me. "and I'll see if I can help."

For a moment I studied her, taking in the expressive eyes that focused only on me and her oh so beautiful face. I had to marvel, in that gorgeous package, here was a woman willing to lend me a hand at the drop of a hat.

"Are you always this nice?" I asked out of the blue.

"No, usually Im a big creep." Gail said facetiously or at least I think she did. "I'm just trying to turn over a new leaf."

"Honestly, why are you doing all this?" I felt the need to persist.

Gail peck stared at me and smiled again, this time a secret sort of smile. "Maybe I'm just a sucker for helping those in distress."

"I hope you are referring to Camden, because I don't know if I like being in that category." I said but whom was I kidding? The baby had bested me. I had clearly been the one in need.

"Camden. Definitely Camden." she assured, her smile gained a twist of mystery that I admittedly enjoyed too much.

Something seem to linger in the air between us then. Something oddly like that moment at the end of a first date when neither person can be sure whether or not to let a good-night kiss happen. But that could not have been what was going on. Even though I suddenly felt curious about what it would be like to kiss this woman, but then Gail took the high road and rose from the couch and made her way to the door opening it.

"Good luck tonight." she told me collecting her bag and coat.

"Thanks. I'll probably need it." I answered a little too brightly in order to cover up what had just ran through my mind. "and thanks again for the use of the crib and everything you did for Camden."

"Sure."

Her gaze lingered briefly on me and then she raised one hand in a wave and disappeared down the hall then the steps. It took a minute before I could do the same. I just stood there thinking I must have been working too hard if I had been working so close to a woman as incredible as Gail Peck seemed to be and I had barely known she was alive.

**(Gail)**

It wasn't my responsibility to step in if Holly Stewart couldn't meet Camden's need. I had reminded myself for the fiftieth time that evening as I gave Ella her dinner. Although I could hardly sit idly by and let the infant suffer for a lack of knowledgeable care.

"Can you say 'bull', Ella?" I asked my daughter as I handed her the sippy cup of milk.

"Bu-ww" Ella complied.

"Clear enough. Thats what your mom is full of."

Because although the baby's well-being mattered to me. I knew those weren't the only reasons behind my offer to help the good doctor. No, Holly Stewart herself had a little something to do with it, even though I didn't really want to admit it.

I had only seen her twice in the three weeks she'd been working with my division and both times in the elevator on the way in. She'd been dictating something into her tablet, juggling a case and files and papers.

And despite the fact that I hadn't been able to ignore her beauty, I'd known from her absorption in her work, by her intensity and by her total lack of awareness of Ella beside me, that she was a woman I should avoid.

Sure, she had incredible long legs. Sure, she had a perfectly proportioned body with breasts just big enough to make me curious. Sure, she had sun kissed skin and glistening dark hair. Sure, she had a perky nose and eyes so brown they were as rich as coffee.

But the way she looked wasn't the point.

The point was, I was a year out of a divorce from a woman whose priority...whose whole life… was her career and I could spot one like her a mile away or one sharing an elevator with me. And Holly Stewart was just that kind of woman. Which meant I should be running as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

"But what am I doing?" I said out loud.

"Feedin me." Ella answered reasonably.

I laughed. "Uh-huh. Feeding you and getting sucked in by a pretty face."

The pretty face of a woman who had a child under circumstances I didn't understand. A child she didn't know what to do with and didn't seem to want.

Again, Just like Rachel.

But here I was hoping my phone would ring, just to give me an excuse to run over there. Here I was so eager to see Holly once more that it had me all churned up. And even though I had no doubt that I could teach Holly what she needed to know to meet Camden's needs. I had to wonder what I was going to learn myself but what I really needed to learn was to steer clear of women who were on a different track than I was.

_Stay clear of her._ I reminded myself but that was easier said than done because that wasn't what I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was see Holly again.

"I'm just asking for trouble." I muttered.

"Twubble" Ella repeated.

"On the other hand" I said as if arguing with my daughter. "It isn't as if I'm getting involved with the woman because I'm helping her out. I'm not putting anything at risk."

"Wisk." Ella parroted as if she agreed completely.

"I'm just being a good officer, here to serve and protect. No harm in that. Not as long as it doesn't go any further." and I would make sure it didn't go any further.

So why the worry? I could see no reason to.

Except that maybe I actually had thought about kissing her tonight….

**AN:** I'm writing a very light happy story. (shock) Which is as you know out of my comfort zone but I wanted to try something new. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I have wonderful news! The Inheritance now has a beta. In the form of the wonderful RookieBlueFanPRC! No longer will you be burdened by mixed tense, bad spelling or words that formed it my head but fingers were too lazy to type. lol From now on, if there is an error ...its my beta's fault lol. **

**I'm just kidding...am I? lol**

**All errors are still my own, shes just here to make the story less of a minefield to read. So if you like the way she has fancied up the story with the appropriate caps, comas, tenses and forgotten words. Give her a shout out to let her know you appreciate her hard work. I certainly do. :)**

**Now on to the story!**

"Are you sure it wouldn't be better if you gave him the bottle?" I inquired.

"Come on, you can do it," Gail cajoled. "You changed his diaper and fed him cereal and fruit. You even gave him a bath."

"You did more of that than I did." I pointed out remembering the spilled cereal on my blouse and almost being drowned by baby bath water. It was only half past nine in the morning and I'd already changed clothing.

Twice.

"Still, a bottle is a cinch and only one of us can hold him and give it to him, so I think that should be you." Gail reasoned.

Camden had been awake for about two hours. At the first stirring I had heated a bottle and tried standing at the side of the crib to give it to him before he could start crying, but Cam would not take to the bottle and instead began to scream, throwing me into another panic. This forced me to call Gail at the ungodly hour of 7 on a Saturday morning; but she came willingly to my rescue less than 15 minutes later.

Since then she had talked me through a diaper change, showed me how to feed Cam the more substantial stomach-filler of cereal and strained fruit, and demonstrated how to give the infant a bath before decreeing that the bottle should be offered again.

"Sit on the couch so you can use the armrest to support your elbow." Gail instructed standing with Camden and the reheated bottle at the ready.

I did as I was told, but I did it tentatively, afraid I was going to foul up the equilibrium Gail had established. Then she placed the baby in my arms and my fears were met as Camden stiffened on contact and let out a wail.

"Baby cryin again." Ella said from her perch on the leather chair where she'd been content to watch cartoons since Gail had set her there and turned on the television for her.

"That's because he hates me." I informed the toddler.

"He probably senses how nervous you are." Gail said. "Relax and he will too."

I tried. Really, I did; but it didn't help that when Gail handed me the bottle and I offered it to Camden, he turned his little head away and went on crying.

"Let me see that," Gail said referring to the bottle. I would rather have handed over the baby, but I refrained and merely passed the bottle back to her. Once Gail had it, she coaxed Camden into accepting it and then made me take over. "See, there's nothing to it." she said stepping away relinquishing the duty completely to me as she went to her daughter.

I watched her pick up Ella, sat in the leather chair herself and positioned the little girl on her own lap as she settled into a purely observational posture. For her part, Ella nestled against her mother comfortably and aimed a stubby index finger at the TV.

"Toons!" Ella said with glee.

"I know, you like cartoons, don't you?" Gail responded.

I couldn't deny it was a wonderful sight…the miniature girl cradled against this woman who cared for her so gently, so calmly, so lovingly. The two year old, looked nothing like her mother though. She had big brown eyes framed by caramel colored skin and a mass of curly black hair, that had been expertly combed into two small pigtails. I couldn't help but wonder if Ella had been adopted or been the product of a past relationship. But when Ella smiled, she had dimples that resembled her mom's, and even though they looked different she was just as beautiful as her mother.

And Gail was beautiful. My opinion hadn't changed on that front since the previous evening. Even dressed in a pair of age-worn blue jeans and a mock-neck sweater, she was a sight to see. The sweater hugged her slender shoulders and arms to perfection, and the jeans seemed designed especially to hug her narrow hips and thighs. Plus she had that carefree natural look. I could imagine she was the kind of woman who woke from four hours of sleep just looking gorgeous and she had a fruity scent that went right to my head.

"Okay pay up." She said to me then.

For a split second I wondered if I'd missed something while I'd been studying mother and daughter.

"Pay up?" I echoed.

"Tell me how you inherited a baby. Remember I said last night that that was the price for my services?"

"Ah," I said as the light dawned. Then I shrugged my shoulder. "What can I say? I just inherited him."

"From?"

"A friend…well my sister…half sister." I corrected. "We met in college by accident. Dad had been trying to keep an early martial affair a secret." Gail frowned at me. "Kelly and I used to be inseparable back then." I recalled with sadness. "She and her husband were killed in a car accident recently."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Although it seems kind of strange for me to accept condolences." I said. But I knew Gail was saying sorry for so much more. "Kelly and I had drifted so far apart. I haven't seen her since she got married about five years ago and moved to Alberta. We exchange Christmas cards but that's it. Earlier this year she wrote saying she had a baby but there was no mention of me being appointed the baby's guardian in the event of her and Michael's death."

"It was a surprise inheritance?" Gail said with an arch of both well-shaped eyebrows.

"A complete surprise. I didn't even know anything had happen to them until their lawyer called. And he didn't tell me until I got to his firm's office here in town yesterday what exactly he was delivering."

"Wow."

"To say the least."

"I can't imagine wanting someone to be Ella's guardian and not checking with them first, let alone choosing someone who isn't even a part of her life." Gail said, amazement filling her voice.

"The asking-first part is definitely something that should have been done." I agreed. "But it seems that neither Kelly or Michael her husband had any friends close enough to take to the lawyer, I'm the only living relative either of them had and I'm not even sure I'm really that."

"So you are the only choice." Gail concluded.

"That's what I've been led to believe."

"And as a result, overnight and without warning you became a mother." I flinched at the words that were so similar to those of the attorney.

"No, not really," I insisted. "I mean, of course I can't keep him."

Gail's beautiful face showed her confusion. "You can't keep him?"

"Well, no." I said as if stating the obvious. "I don't know anything about babies or kids and I tend to be disastrous for them."

"I wouldn't go as far as that. There haven't been any disasters."

Yet.

There haven't been any disasters yet.

"But it's been known to happen." I said ominously but without any explanation of just how disastrous I could be as the caretaker of a small child. "I'm not the parenting kind." I continued, "And even if I was, I work eighteen hours a day, sometimes seven days a week. I don't have time to raise children."

"You make time." Gail said practically.

I shook my head. "It's just not me." I answered. "I know test tubes, not pacifiers." That made Gail smile.

"What are you going to do with him then?" Gail said calling my bluff. She must have thought I wasn't quite serious about not raising Camden.

"On Tuesday, when the world is open for business again, I'll call social services or someone who does private adoptions to set the wheels in motion to find a home for him, where he'll be better off than he'll be with me.

"You're giving him up?" Gail's shock was evident and it made what I was planning seem so bad.

But it wasn't! Right?

"It's not as if I'll stand on the street corner and turn him over to the first person who will take him." I said defensively. "I'll make sure I can handpick a home for him and keep in contact with the family to guarantee he's always be taken care of and has everything he needs."

"But you'd be giving him to strangers."

"I'm a stranger to him." I said emphatically.

"But at least you're a blood relative. The blood relative his parents chose for him." Gail persisted.

"The blood relative they chose without even asking if I was willing to take him. I'll do it more responsibly than that."

"Before you've given raising him yourself a try?"

"Gail." I whine. "Don't make me feel more guilty than I already do." Or more inadequate. "Camden deserves to be raised by people who know what they are doing, who can keep him safe and healthy and happy."

"And you don't think you can do that?"

"I already knew I couldn't. "Let's just say I'm not the best woman for the job."

"You might be." Gail persisted. "How will you know if you don't try?"

I knew. I just didn't want to tell Gail how. "Take my word for it."

"You have a few days to give it a shot." She pointed out.

"You know, not all women have a maternal instinct." I said.

"I'm well aware of that, believe me, but you might have and you just don't know it yet."

"Right, because I'm doing such a bang up job with Camden so far." I said facetiously.

Gail smiled again, this time softly and nodded at Camden. "You're doing fine."

I glanced down at the baby I held. The baby who had snuggled up against me, who suddenly seemed to trust me enough to be falling asleep in my arms and I felt an unfamiliar tug on my heart.

"Sure, but it took you to get us here." I said, unwilling to take credit that wasn't my due.

Gail paused a moment, much like she had the night before when she'd ended up offering to take me shopping for baby things this afternoon.

But the moment was brief before she said. "What if I spend the whole weekend showing you the ropes? Proving that parenting is worth all the time and all the compromises and all the sacrifices?"

"I'd still be lousy at it."

"Okay, if you're lousy at it and you hate doing it, then call Social Services on Tuesday, but at least keep an open mind until then."

The woman was tenacious, I'd give her that. Unfortunately, I doubted that even tenacity was enough to turn me into anyone's mother. But all Gail was asking was that I keep an open mind in return for her help the whole time I had Camden and while I didn't know how open I could keep my mind, I did know that I could use the help. Not to mention Gail's company wasn't exactly unbearable…

"The free three-day in home trial of parenthood, complete with an ever available saleswoman?" I joked.

Gail laughed again. "Yes, all of that."

"And you're willing to give up your whole weekend?" I asked with a note of disbelief in my voice.

"I won't be giving up anything. I'm off work for the holidays. Today we are shopping and I'm picking up things I needed to get out for anyway. Tomorrow Ella and I are going to the Eaton Centre to see Santa and you and Camden can come, too. Monday you can come with us to my folks for Christmas dinner and see what it's like to be on the family plan.

"That's your whole weekend and it's the holidays." I repeated.

"But I'm not giving anything up. I'm just playing teacher and advocate-for-parenthood along the way."

I thought that over, paying particular attention to the fact that I was attracted to this woman and wondering if it was wise to indulge in concentrated time with her over such a festive holiday. Especially when I already knew just enough about her to know I shouldn't. Because like Rebecca, she was a woman with a child. A woman who was determined that I discover maternal instincts that I honestly didn't believe I had.

But I was facing three plus days of looking after a baby I was woefully incapable of caring for and here was this incredible beautiful woman, offering to help out just so that she could put in a good word for parenthood. How could I turn that down?

"Okay." I finally agreed. "If you're willing to have me tag along on your holiday weekend, I can certainly use the help with Camden."

"And you'll keep an open mind about raising him." Gail reminded.

"As open as I can keep, but don't say I didn't warn you when Monday night comes and I still can't change a diaper without you telling me I'm putting it on backwards."

"I bet you don't approach your job with this much self-doubt, lack of confidence and defeatism."

"That's because I know I can do my job and I also know that I'm a failure as a parent." I responded with the conviction born of experience.

Bad experience.

"That's the second time you've made reference that makes me think you've had something to do with kids before." Gail said.

"Not one of my own. Let's just say I was once entrusted with someone else's and it made the evening news." And my tone made it clear that I didn't want to expound on that.

"Well, as far as I can see, you have one of your own now…at least for a few days.. and having one of your own is a whole different world."

"Mmm, I just hope you don't come of this weekend feeling that you've wasted your time if I don't end up being Mother of the Year."

"I don't consider it a waste of time to try, convincing you that you and Camden might actually have a chance at becoming a family. If I'm wrong, well at least I tried and it only cost me three days of doing what I was going to do anyway, but now I'll be doing it with company. Pleasant company." Gail added with a slightly different tone. A tone that was much more intimate than conversational.

A tone that stirred something inside of me that felt like a tiny whirlwind.

"Okay, I guess if you're game, so am I." I said reminding myself that I needed to keep things like that little whirlwind of delight under control. Because this weekend was likely to end with Gail as disappointed in me, as disgusted with me as Rebecca had been and if that happened and I let my guard down, I could end up hurt again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** As per reader request, this story has now been upgraded to a rating of M. I aim to please, LOL. Thank you very much for the wonderful reviews so far. It has been a pleasure reading them. Now on to the chapter and happy reading.

**(Holly)**

Both Camden and Ella had naps before Gail and I took them shopping that afternoon. With Cam in a stroller Gail loaned me, I followed her up and down aisles of baby equipment as Ella rode in the trolley. The toddler looked wide-eyed with excitement as we passed several items that caught her interest and Gail took on the role of a store clerk as she expertly explained what each item did and which was the best to purchase based on the choices available.

"How about this one?" Gail asked when we stopped to look at strollers.

"Hmm…" I made a face as I scrutinized the stroller. "It's different..." I said, but really it looked like a spaceship. "It's kinda ugly." I finally decided with the shake of my head.

Gail laughed.

"Ugleee!" Ella echoed agreeing with me. I smiled at her.

"Maybe your style is more traditional?" Gail said.

I nodded to keep us moving but I wasn't sure what my style was when it came to strollers. To be perfectly honest I would have been happy with anything that wasn't complicated to use…like the spaceship and that held the baby comfortably for a good four hours.

We moved to another model, where Gail highlighted its many fantastic features and I was pleasantly surprised that I like this one, so I said:

"This one could work, but I'm not sure about the color,"

"They also have it in black and grey."

"Mmm…" the decision was almost as hard as deciding on the color of a new car. "Let's get it in black." I finally decided.

"Pwwtty" Ella said out of the blue.

"Hmm? What's pretty?" Gail asked. At which Ella pointed to me and stretched out her tiny hand to touch my face. I leaned in to her touch capturing her small fingers to my lips and pretended to nibble her, she squealed and laughed with glee.

"Yes." Gail agreed. "Holly is very pretty." She told Ella and I blushed like a preadolescent schoolgirl.

In the end I resisted purchasing anything that couldn't be sent along with Camden to a new home. I did however buy a portable crib, so I could return Gail's and the stroller, but those were the only large items. Beyond that I invested in disposable diapers, a few baby spoons, more bottles, some towels and washcloths that were softer than what I used for myself, sheets for the new crib and a pacifier and teething ring Gail said I might try when Camden was fussy. I also bought some toys and several new outfits-complete with tiny baby shoes-because they were just too cute to resist. Although in doing so and letting Gail know that's why I did it, I opened myself up for a commentary on that being one of the fun things about having children.

"No!" Ella pouted when we were finished and ready to leave the store. "Wanna sta-ay," she pleaded. She'd been playing with a magnetic drawing board at the register while we checked out our items.

"Its time to leave munchkin." Gail was firm but calm. The toddler tugged on Gail's arm where she held her. "Ella." Gail's tone held a warning.

"No!"

So this was what the terrible two's looked like. I was sure a tantrum was inevitable.

"How about we go home and get pizza for dinner?" Gail negotiated.

The toddler looked from Gail to the toy she'd become attached to and a disheartened look lined her small face.

"Toy, mama?" she said with big puppy dog eyes that amused me. Ella was a savvy negotiator herself.

"Okay. We can get the toy, but then we are leaving the store." Gail agreed easily enough and just like that a potential crisis was averted. I was impressed; under my care the results would have been very different. Parenting required a delicate balance between knowing when to stay firm and when to give in. I on the other hand was barely passing bottle feeding.

After the pizza supper I shared with mother and daughter. Gail set up the new portable crib, removed hers and did some minor assembling of the stroller, all with Ella's inexpert assistance. But watching Gail's patience with the tiny tot was interesting to me. I was amazed that Gail never lost her temper regardless of how many times Ella misplaced her tools or got in her way. I marveled at Gail's ability to pause over and over again to show her daughter how to do something or distract the little girl so Gail could actually accomplish something.

For Ella's part, it was evident that she adored her mom. She wanted to be just like Gail and to do anything she was doing. She mimicked Gail's mannerisms and almost her every movement, in a sweet pantomime.

It was slightly demoralizing for me to see it all. I doubted I would ever have that kind of rapport with any child. But it was an impressive thing to watch. Gail really was a wonderful mother and although that had never been one of my requisites in a partner, I found Gail's gentleness, her calm strength, her leashed power, increasingly sexy for no reason I understood.

**(Gail)**

That evening when it was time for Camden to be put to bed. I didn't step in to do it. Instead I stood close beside Holly and observed while she tried to change the diaper. We were in her guest room, with Ella watching cartoons on the living room couch.

"See, you're doing well." I said my voice low. Holly leaned in closer to hear me and a scent of lily of the valley drifted over me. It wasn't the first time I had breathed in her unique scent. The first had been when she had opened her front door to me but that had been a safe territory, we were strangers then.

This was something else.

Here it was just us the two of us in the small room, as the presence of the children seem to fade into the background. If I moved my lips would brush against her hair. If she looked up into my eyes her mouth would be close enough to capture my lips.

She was chewing on her bottom lip I realized, the flesh full and pink, and her small white teeth raking the surface. Suddenly she wasn't Holly new mother in need of help, or Dr. Stewart co-worker. She was woman, soft and silky and tempting.

I drew a deep breath. Too deep.

Holly frowned. "Am I doing this right?"

"Hmm. Almost. Pull the snaps closer. You don't want it to fall off him." I advised. She made the adjustments to perfection. "Excellent job."

She shook her head, "You just say that to make me feel better."

I shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. Am I doing a good job?" I winked.

A low, musical laugh met my ears. I leaned in closer to catch it. "You must have all the ladies dropping into your arms like raindrops with that charm." I neither accepted nor refuted the claim.

But I did smile and when Holly shifted I moved to brush my thumb against her lips. She breathed deeply and her chest lifted against my arm. A physical reminder of just how woman she was. You can't want her, I reminded myself but it was too late for that. Or at least it would be if I didn't back off soon. Like right now. Somehow I managed to ease my thumb away from her, to release her completely and nervously she finished putting on the diaper.

She was clumsy at best, still nervous about diaper changes and bottle-feeding but I offered more moral support than hands-on aid so she could learn by trial and error. Well, more error than trial but I believed she would learn eventually. All good mothers did.

**(Holly)**

When Camden was down for the night, it occurred to me that that brought my day with Gail to a natural conclusion. It wasn't a realization that thrilled me. In fact, I discovered in myself a longing for that not to be the case. I wanted to constantly be in Gail's presence, in her space, like before when she had touched me. She had only touched my lips, but somehow managed to ignite my soul.

I wanted to once again feel rather than hear the huskiness in her voice as it dropped to levels that were downright seductive, ached for the feel of my bosom against her hand. But I had already imposed so much on her that I didn't feel I could ask her to hang around any longer just because I was enjoying her …company.

So I didn't say anything when Gail picked up a sleepy Ella off the couch to take her home. I merely drank in the sight of the drowsy little girl hanging limply on to her mother, resting her head on Gail's shoulder, one of Gail's hands tenderly pressed to the girl's small back.

"You know," Gail said as she headed for the door, completely unaware of how appealing she was. "I'm the proud owner of a bottle of wine that's supposed to be something special-don't ask why it's special- but the person who gave it to me last Christmas told me it was. I haven't opened it yet, but I was just thinking...maybe you'd be interested in a little winding-down nightcap after I get Ella tucked in?"

Gail could have offered me orange juice and I still would have jumped at it just to have the evening extended. And even with a self reminder that I was supposed to be keeping things under control, and that I was going out on a very weak limb not to, didn't keep me from saying, "That sounds nice, but who will watch Ella?"

"My brother and his wife live on the building. They can watch her for me." she told me and I nodded.

"Great. Give me about half an hour to get her to bed and I'll be back."

"Okay," I agreed, pretending to take it in stride. But the instant Gail and Ella were out the door, I spun on my heels and ran to my bedroom.

Off went the jeans and shirt Camden had spewed strained spinach on as I charged into my walk-in closet. On went a pair of lightweight lounging pants and a flimsy white blouse designed to reveal the lacy camisole I placed under it.

Then I made a dash to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, blotting it dry and then reapplying blush and mascara and a deep mauve lipstick that was guaranteed not to wear off. I had barely combed through my hair and gone into the kitchen to take out wine glasses when Gail knocked on my door again.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** And because chapter 5 was a tease. Like an early Christmas gift. Here is chapter 6. Thanks for keeping me entertained with your reviews on the story.

**(Holly)**

It was only as I went to get the door that it struck me that the quick change might not have been the best idea, that it might convey a message I shouldn't be sending. But by then it was too late and I had opened the door. It helped that Gail had changed too. Not her clothes but she had combed her hair, freshened her makeup and applied more of that tantalizing fruity body spray.

Still I greeted her with an excuse for why I'd spruced myself up. "I had to get out of the spinach splatter."

Gail smiled, gave me a once-over and said. "Yeah, kids are hard on the wardrobe. But I approve… if that matters."

It did, but I didn't bother telling her that.

Gail took the bottle of wine into my kitchen and opened it, pouring it into the two glasses I'd left on the counter and handed one to me. Then she clinked her glass against mine and said:

"To the hours after parenthood."

I smiled my amen to that and we both tasted the wine. It was wonderful, and after the first sip we took our glasses and the bottle back to the livingroom, where we sat at either end of the couch.

"You know," I said. "I just realized that all we've talked about is babies and kids. All I know about you is that you're a police officer."

"Mmm… true," Gail agreed. "But that's more than I know about you. What do you do? And why do you know more about test tubes than pacifiers?"

I liked that she'd caught the reference and remembered it.

"I'm the Forensic Pathologist assigned to your division." I explained.

Gail smiled as if it all made perfect sense now. " That's why you are always headed down to the basement."

"Mmhm," I confirmed. "Just like my dad. He was the Forensic Pathologist at Division 15 too."

"Really?" Gail said sounding surprised and impressed.

"Really. My father spent his life working there. He loved it. I pretty much grew up in the lab. He passed away a few years ago."

"But he lived long enough to see that you followed in his footsteps?"

"He did."

"How about your mother? Is she still living?" Gail asked then.

"No. She died in childbirth."

"Having you?"

"Yes." I confirmed. For years dad had blamed himself. He thought his earlier indiscretion with Kelly's mom had cost him mom and a life without her was his penance. "I was raised an only child. Which is why I ended up so work-oriented, I was practically raised at the lab."

"Was that okay with you? I mean, didn't you miss having brothers and sisters? Or other things going on?"

"Sure, when I was young. I even tried to set up dad with teachers I liked. But after mom, he wasn't interested in anyone else and eventually I stopped trying." I explained. "Then I met Kelly and in a way she filled that void."

"No wonder you know more about test tubes than pacifiers then."

"Exactly."

Gail leaned forward to take the wine bottle from the coffee table and refilled our glasses. When she sat back again she was angled more towards me than she had been, creating a stronger sense of intimacy that I tried not to like too much.

"What about you?" I asked. "I assume your parents are still alive if we're going to their Christmas dinner on Monday. But do you have brothers or sisters?'

She smiled with only half of her mouth but it was enough to set off a little twitter in the pit of my stomach.

"Yes, my folks are still alive. They are also police officers. Mom is a Superintendent and dad an Inspector. And as for brothers and sisters, I have one of each. …and hold onto your hat." She warned. "My brother is a detective and my sister is an assistant district attorney."

I knew the shock reflected in my expression. "All police officers …well law enforcement."

"Yep." Gail confirmed.

"Where were you in the birth order?"

"Middle."

"No wonder you know so much about taking care of kids." I said. "You must have done a lot of babysitting."

"You could say that." She said wryly.

"Did you enjoy growing up with siblings?"

"For the most part I did. There were times when I wished I was an only child but on a whole I didn't mind."

"Does that mean you want three children of your own?"

Gail laughed. "Sure, why not."

The entire idea of being from a family of more than two was hard for me to grasp. "Are you close to each other?" Even with Kelly it was hard to keep the relationship going when we were no longer in the same city.

"Why do you say that as if you can't imagine that we would be? Everyone lives in Toronto. My brother is in the same building. Plus we always babysit for each other, that's why I keep around the portable crib around. I never know when I'm going to have a niece or a nephew for the night.

"Both your brother and sister are married with kids?" I asked, my curiosity at the forefront. I couldn't help but wonder if her siblings were as attractive as she was. If they had her charm, or were as interesting.

"My brother is married with three children and my sister is in a long term relationship ..so long it's practically a marriage." Gail grinned. "And she has two children."

It was my turn to say "wow." This explained why Gail had been so shocked by the notion of me giving up Camden.

We finished our second glass of wine and Gail offered me a third but I declined. I wasn't much of a drinker and my head was already a little light. Gail didn't refill her glass either, but she did check her watch.

"I should let you get some rest," she said then.

Did I look tired?

I hoped not. But I thought I might sound desperate if I tried to get her to stay longer by insisting that I wasn't. So I didn't say anything one way or the other.

And as a result, Gail stood to go.

"Think you can handle tomorrow morning on your own?" she asked.

"I make no promises," I said, my continuing uncertainty when it came to Camden echocing in my voice. "Do you have suggestions on how to improve from this morning?"

"Well for one thing," Gail said as she moved towards the door with me following behind. "When babies wake up, they want out of their cribs. You can't just hope to jam a bottle in their mouths without touching them and they need a diaper change first thing, even before food and even if they cry during it."

I was grateful that she'd pointed out the mistakes I'd made in a tone that sounded more like teasing than criticism.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You're not doing so bad at holding him, don't you think?"

I still wasn't great at it, or confident that I wouldn't drop him if Camden wiggled or arched his back, so the most I would concede was, "I guess not."

"And you survived lunch and dinner with the spoon and two bottles on your own today. You're getting to be an old hand at the feedings."

Again, not things I was comfortable with even if I had managed to get through them with Gail's support.

"We'll probably be okay." I said without any conviction whatsoever, but because that seemed to be what she wanted to hear.

"You'll do fine." Gail assured, clearly to boost my flagging confidence than out of any real belief in me.

But with that assurance came a hand to my arm, a soft hand with a gentle squeeze just enough to send tiny sparkles all through me. Only once the gesture was complete, Gail didn't take the hand away again the way she might have.

Not that it seemed by design. If the two lines between her brows were any indication, that simple, innocent physical contact had done something to her too. Something that surprised her. Or maybe confused her.

**(Gail)**

But suddenly it was as if sparks were flying all around us and the touch of my hand wasn't as casual as it had begun. I rubbed Holly's arm with my thumb, making small circles there as I studied her. My eyes intense, my touch purposeful and my intent clear.

It seemed to me that what had brought us together initially didn't matter anymore. We were just two people who had an extremely pleasant day and evening together. Who had shared wine and conversation, which had let us get to know each other and only brought to the surface the attraction that had been simmering below since we'd met.

Once again I was thinking about kissing her. Damn it to hell I wanted to kiss Holly.

So I came closer.

Slowly.

As if I wasn't where I should be but wanted to be and she surprised me by closing the space between us. That's when I kissed her, softly, just a bare brushing of my lips against hers for a brief, testing time before I stepped away and searched her face with a heated gaze.

I wanted her to tell me no, but prayed she wouldn't because all that was going through my mind was that I wanted to kiss her again.

So I did.

More deeply the second time, wrapping one arm around her and cupping the back of her head to brace her against a kiss that grew deeper still. My lips were warm as they settled over hers and Holly parted her lips in a sweet invitation of a kiss that was more incredible than anything I'd ever given or had. I may have initiated it but her return was a kiss that chased away thoughts and sent sparks through every inch of my body.

I felt her raise her hands to my back, filling her palms with the hard hills and valleys of the honed muscles of my shoulders, which allowed me to pull her even closer. Close enough for her breasts to press against me and for the tight knots of her nipples to let themselves be known.

My nerve endings seem to rise to the surface of my skin, my head light—in the best possible way, but we were getting to the point of no return. So I ended the kiss.

Slowly.

With one interruption and then a return to kiss her, then a second interruption, and another return to kissing her but after the third interruption I didn't kiss her. Instead I peered down into her face again, studying it intently.

"Can we say that was for a job well-done today or maybe bolster you for tomorrow?" I joked, my voice huskier than usual despite the teasing tone I was aiming for.

"We could say it was for both." Holly responded and I could appreciate her effort at keeping things light.

"It was a pretty good kiss." I said as if I was being forced to brag.

"Well, pretty good." She countered giving me a hard time.

"Good enough that you don't want to wipe it off with your sleeve and make a face?"

Holly laughed. "Good enough not to want to do that anyway."

I smiled, pleased with her answer and with myself too. "I'd better get out of here while I'm still ahead then." I said stepping into the hallway. "If you need me in the morning, just call. I don't mind dropping by."

"I was glad you did" Holly said.

"I think you'll be okay on your own, though." I said but the look in her eyes told me she wasn't as sure. "But don't forget tomorrow afternoon the four of us have a date with Santa. You'll get a taste of a family Sunday outing."

I watched her nod like a zombie, with her mind in a daze and I should have simply made my departure then, but I stayed there for a few more minutes. Just enjoying her presence as the lingering spell of the kiss slowly made its departure.

And when I finally did take my leave, I gave her a little nod to say goodnight and made my way down the hall. Despite the separation of the long hallway as I made my exit, I could still feel her presence almost as strongly as it had been at the door. I could still feel her lips on mine and what I really wanted was to be back in that doorway, holding her, kissing her and doing more than kissing her. Even if she was a woman I shouldn't have been wanting at all.

** AN:** Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**(Holly)**

I awoke to moonlight shining through the windows, slashing across my bed in a beam of light. I sat up sleepy, my nightshirt bunched around my waist and my hair tousled by sleep and sheets.

"Gail?" I blinked at her silhouette perched by my bed. She could have been a sculpture set in gold. Unashamed by her nakedness, a work of art. Almost too beautiful to be human.

She was here at my request. To fulfill our mutual need. A need that had ignited with our kiss and now hours later could no longer be denied. Hoping to please her, I reached for the hem of my nightshirt and slipped it over my head. My breasts filled her vision, and she reached for me disregarding the clothing on the floor.

Then she touched me.

Lightly, ever so lightly causing my nipples to skim the tips of her fingers and she leaned forward to taste me with her tongue. A shiver tingled at the base of my spine, and I knew this was what fantasies were made of: the tip of a woman's tongue, the scent of her skin, the fever shining in her eyes.

I could have dreamed her.

My nipples peaked against Gail's mouth. She laved tenderly, kissing as she licked causing desire to pool at my thighs. She purred and I gripped her shoulders as dizziness swept over me.

Her hand slipped into my panties as my back found the bed and her mouth remained damp and warm against my nipple. I shifted my legs but she didn't remove my panties. Instead she kept her hand inside of them, like a naughty teenager, her fingers provided a slow steady rhythm.

I let the sensations guide me – the wave rocking my body. I breathed her name and stroked her short blonde hair. She lowered her head to my belly, teasing and licking.

Lingering.

And then she removed my panties, tugged them over my willing hips, the wisp of cotton and lace soon forgotten. With fascination, she combed through the curls at the apex of my thighs. I grasped her shoulders and widened my legs, my hips bucked. Gail put her mouth against me – that hot, sexy mouth.

I bucked again and looked down at her. She steadied my hips and kissed between my legs. Then kissed and caressed that sensitive nub as my folds open like a flower giving its nectar to a honeybee.

Then climax ripped through me hard and fast. Color blurred my vision. Blue, copper, gold. Her eyes, her skin, her hair that sparkled and simmered like rays from the sun. My heart slammed against my ribs, pounding so loud, it thudded in my ears.

A vibration.

A sound.

Sheer, blinding pleasure. I absorbed every flicker of light, every movement. Every flame that doused my skin, every shudder that sizzled through my system, which left me weak and mindless.

"I want you." I gasped as I pulled her on me but then I heard … crying. Distant at first but then it grew louder.

Loud and disturbing.

My eyes flew open. Where was I? I gazed around the room, but couldn't see through the haze fogging my eyes. I reached around me and connected with sheets that were cold, damp, void of a warm bed companion. I groaned and removed my hand from where I'd been touching myself.

I had been dreaming.

A very good dream, but a dream nonetheless. As my brained cleared, two things became clear: Gail was not here and Camden was crying.

"I'm coming, Cam." I said dragging limbs from bed. On my exit I scanned the bedside clock. It was only 6 am.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! What are you doing?"

I had Camden on my bed for the first diaper change that morning and the moment I removed his wet diaper, Camden rolled over onto all fours as if he was going to crawl away.

I hadn't known he could do that; and with Camden rocking back and forth, I also thought he might actually be mobile.

But thankfully he wasn't. Camden just went on rocking as if he wanted to move but didn't quite know how to put everything into play to accomplish it.

It was cute though. That tiny, perfect little baby bottom and those chubby legs and itty-bitty feet, all right there in the open without any inhibitions whatsoever.

I couldn't help smiling –something I didn't think I'd done even once in regard to Camden since I'd brought him home.

It was kind of nice.

Until I thought about my seven hundred dollar quilt that Camden was on, possibly getting it wet or worse.

I momentarily freaked.

"Now don't get mad, but you have to have a diaper on." I said in a high, lilting, completely nonthreatening way as I reached for Camden and turned him over. I hoped to high heaven that that wouldn't be enough to make Cam cry since I had not yet been able to do so without Gail's help and guidance.

But Camden surprised me by doing nothing more than giggling, as if the whole thing had been a game. Giggling and waving his arms and legs in wild abandon.

"You liked that, did you?" I asked, catching hold of Camden's feet to aid the wiggle.

Cam loved that, too, and laughed even more, so I did it again. Then, on impulse I bent over and rubbed the tip of my nose against the tip of his.

This time his reaction was something that sounded like "ah-goo," just before Camden grabbed my ears in two tiny hands and latched on to my nose to suck on it as if it were a bottle's nipple.

I laughed at the way it felt. "What are you doing?" I asked as I pulled away, but not without another nose to nose nuzzle to let him know I didn't really mind.

Camden repeated his silly sounding "ah-goo" and we both laughed yet again as I slipped a clean diaper on him.

But the question of what Camden was doing to me seemed to apply to more than merely that moment, as I began to realize that I was actually having fun with my tiny charge. That I genuinely did think Cam was adorable. And that I was experiencing soft, warm, fuzzy feelings for him.

"Still, I'm not cut out to be a mother," I confided in Camden, not wanting to ever let him know just how incompetent I had been in the past. On the other hand, it was something I had to keep in mind for Camden's sake, so I wouldn't begin to entertain thoughts of keeping him. I didn't want to forget that giving Camden up was what was best for him.

It was just that for the first time, I felt a deep pang that didn't come from the usual guilt that I was too inept to raise Camden myself, the way Kelly and Michael had wanted.

No, this pang came from thoughts of giving Camden up. And it surprised me to realize that a part of me was sad to think of handing Camden over to someone else.

Not that it mattered. My own feelings were not important, I reminded myself. What mattered was that I do whatever would give Camden a good, safe, and happy life. But as I finished my first solo diaper change with a reasonable amount of success and found that Camden had half a pudgy fist in his rosebud mouth and was stilling managing to smile at me, something inside me began to bloom. Something that felt an awfully lot like a bud of attachment.

"But I'm not what's in your best interest, even if I am starting to like you," I whispered, hating to admit it. "You need someone who can take good care of you, not haphazardly. Someone who can give you what you need that money can't buy. Someone who knows what they are doing."

Someone like Gail.

Gail, who was just great all the way around and probably wouldn't have anything to do with me if I did give up Camden.

That brought on another pang.

"Oh, wonderful. Am I getting attached to her too?"

But even without Camden's third "ah-goo" to confirm it. I knew I was sprouting a little attachment to Gail, as well.

How could I not? When she was kind and compassionate and patient? When she was fun and good-natured and had a great sense of humor? And she certainly kissed better than anyone I'd ever kissed in my entire life.

This wasn't something I should be thinking about, especially after last night, or something I should be doing either. Because I knew that even though it was the truth, thinking about it- doing it- was only leading us both down a road that would likely end with me as the casualty.

Just then Camden took his fist to his mouth and held out his arms for me to pick him up, smiling the sweetest baby smile I had ever seen. His smile coupled with the memory of Gail's kiss ganged up on me and left me worried.

Seriously worried.

Worried that no matter how much I wished it wasn't so, I was more than just starting out on that road, I was already halfway down it.

I wasn't sure if Camden had been going through a period of adjustment or had just been out of sorts, but his improved mood continued throughout the morning. It helped considerably not only in lowering my stress level, but in accomplishing the feeding and bathing chores, too. It made it so that my clumsy care didn't seem quite so problematic, and by the time Gail and Ella showed up for our trip to Santa's that afternoon, I was proud of the fact that Camden and I made it that far without Gail's help.

"See? I told you you'd get the hang of it," Gail said when she discovered she wasn't coming in on yet another mess.

What I didn't tell her was that I hadn't had the courage to risk putting Camden in the bathtub the way she had and had only given him a sponge bath in the sink.

The kitchen sink.

Or that at least half a jar of strained peaches had ended down Camden's front. Or that a bowl of cereal had gotten overturned onto my lap. Or that I had to change after dousing myself with Camden's bathwater.

Of course I might have given myself away slightly when Gail discovered a spot of peaches in my hair. She had simply removed it but didn't say anything.

I could appreciate that and because she didn't, I merely basked in what I considered an accomplishment. After all, Camden had come through none the worse for wear. And that was an improvement of my track record.

Santa's village at the mall had only recently been saved from closing its doors this holiday season because of financial problems, and the threat of that had brought more people out to view the North Pole display and see the big guy himself.

With Camden in his stroller and Ella pushing hers rather than riding in it, Gail and I joined the throng of people passing by the displays of tiny elves building toys, the book of those who were naughty and nice and the reindeers with the sled.

Ella was particularly enamored by the "big doggies" as she called the reindeers and Camden seemed particularly enthralled with Ella, who took special pains to show off for him.

I thought it was just the effect the Peck ladies seem to have on those in their company, since I was hardly immune to Gail either, even though I was trying hard to be.

"Anta!" Ella squealed once we came into view of the man in red himself. I was impressed; the costume department had outdone themselves. He looked like the real deal with his large round belly and curly white beard.

"Yes Santa," Gail confirmed.

I took Camden from the stroller, so that he could have a better look and together we watched as Ella and Gail went up to see Santa. Without much coaxing she climbed onto Santa's lap and gave him a big hug. For his part, Santa hugged her tightly and laughed when she tugged on his very real beard.

"And what's your name little one?" Santa asked.

"El..la." The toddler replied as she looked to mom for confirmation. Gail smiled clearly proud at how well she was doing.

"And what would you like for Christmas?"

"Bugsy!" Ella squealed with confidence.

Santa looked up at Gail who confirmed with the nod of her head that the popular rabbit toy would indeed be under the tree for Ella.

"I will make sure you get Bugsy for Christmas." Santa promised. The toddler squealed hugging him again.

"How about a picture?" Santa's helper asked us.

"Sure." Gail agreed.

"Ma'am," the helper said, turning to me. "You can go in the picture with your wife and daughter."

"Oh.. no… um..I'm not." I tried to explain flustered but Gail pulled Cam and I on the small stage with her.

"My _wife_ would love to be in the picture." Gail replied with a hint of laughter. She was clearly teasing me.

We huddled together around Santa, with him holding the kids and smiled for the Christmas photo. It was a silly thing, done mostly for Ella's benefit, but I couldn't help the pang that claimed my heart when Gail held out the picture for us to see and Ella said,

"Fam-lly!"

**(Gail)**

"So once you have children, are these kind of outings the only kind of social life parents end up having?" Holly asked.

I had seized every opportunity to point out the positives of parenthood throughout the day and I was sure she just wanted to tease me a little as we left Santa amid a crowd of other people with children at the end of the afternoon.

"Sure, that's it—amusement parks, children museums, zoos and places like this—the rest of the world is off limits to you," I answered facetiously. Then in my normal tone, I said. "No, that's not the end of your social life. There are baby-sitters, you know."

We had reached my vehicle by then, a midsize SUV that easily provided room for two car seats in the back. But before I began the chore of putting the children in them, I gave her a sideway glance and said.

"As a matter of fact, since you brought it up, how about I call my usual sitter for tonight? She can handle Camden and Ella, and you and I can get away by ourselves for a few hours. Just to show you that life can be normal even after kids."

"Ah, so it's purely for demonstration purposes."

"Entirely." I half lied. I admit the move was cheeky, but how else was I going to get the date?

"And what exactly would we be doing to demonstrate that there is normal life even after kids?" Holly challenged.

"A grown-up, put-on-your-good-clothes dinner and a drive. I'll show you some of the cool places I took down bad guys on streets you walk everyday."

"Oh, you'll show me where you took down bad guys." she repeated with a lascivious note to her voice. "I'll bet that's the line you use to pick up single mothers."

"Only the pretty ones," I countered with a wickedly charming smile. "What do you say?" I added.

I knew what she should say. Holly should say no. Because if a little time alone with her led to the kiss that had knocked my socks off, I was very worried that I was getting attached to her and I could only imagine what an entire date alone with her would do to me.

But that was the problem. I was imagining it. I was imagining a few hours free of diapers and bottles. I was imagining myself in the little black cocktail dress I'd brought last week. I was imagining Holly looking terrific in something that hugged her curves. I was imagining us sharing a fancy, uninterrupted meal over nothing but adult conversation. Sharing a drive afterwards, all alone together.

So I prayed she wouldn't say no.

Then a little belatedly, she said, "Can you get your sitter on such short notice?"

I shrugged one slender shoulder to play it cool. "It's worth a try."

"Then I guess that's what you should do," Holly said encouraging me even as a little voice in the back of my head cautioned that this date might not be a smart move. But I ignored it, giving Holly a smile as I took out my cell phone to set the wheels in motion. There was a message blinking on the screen, it was from my brother Steve which read.

"Gail, she called again." My throat constricted. What could _she_ possibly want now?

AN: Okay ... breathe. Its not as bad as you are imaging :) I got a few personal request that I tried to put in this chapter. Hoped everyone liked it. Thanks again for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

Juggling to get Camden ready for bed and myself ready to go out was a new and unpleasantly frantic experience for me, but by seven thirty when Gail, Ella and the babysitter arrived, I had managed it and was only too happy to hand over the reigns to the babysitter.

After Gail had thoroughly instructed the teenage girl and given her our mobile numbers, we left Ella and Camden in her capable hands and finally made our way to the hallway.

Alone.

That's when Gail turned to study me from top to bottom in a long, slow gaze. I felt vulnerable under her scrutiny.

"Well, you look amazing." She said.

"Thank you." I replied, pleased with the slip like, slinky fit of my dress, with its bra straps and the slit that went from the above-the-knee hem to the mid-right-thigh.

"You might turn a head or two yourself" I added as she helped me into my coat.

Gail had certainly made an impression on me. Under her coat and scarf, she wore a little back dress that hugged her curves and …. None of my daydreams of how good she would look had done her justice. The body that filled out aged jeans and a sweater also wore a cocktail dress better than any runway model. Plus she wore make up with her lips stained in a red hue and she smelled wonderful. I had a horribly inappropriate urge to lure her back into my apartment and spend the rest of the evening undressing her. But of course, I resisted the urge and instead let her lead me to the elevator to begin our night out.

We had a phenomenal meal at 360 in the CN Tower, while Gail talked about some of the more adventurous aspects of her job and her recent promotion, which she begins at the top of the year. She also explained her family's life-long love affair with law enforcement, going back generations and how she had always wanted to be a police officer. I could appreciate that, afterallbeing a doctor was everything to me.

Then the conversation switched to talk in detail about her house that was currently being renovated and the fact that she was only living in her brother's apartment complex until it was completed.

And all the while we ate and chatted, I kept watching her; memorizing every angle and plane of her gorgeous face, and fighting to concentrate on what she was saying. My mind kept wandering back to the kiss we had shared and the dream I had indulged in the night before, and forward to the end of this evening, wondering whether it would happen again.

Being back in her SUV after dinner provided a much-needed distraction. In the dark, facing the dashboard rather than Gail, I could focus on other things; some of the 'crime scenes' we drove by were incidents I recalled from watching the evening news. Gail wasn't just another pretty face in uniform. She had ten years active duty under her belt, more collars than anymore from her graduating class and had made several successful drug and gang busts; the past three years were spent as a training officer to some of the city's finest officers and her recent promotion to Staff Sergeant cemented her dedication to the force and the respect and love her colleagues had for her.

It surprised me that I had been so engrossed in my own life and work that I had completely missed the small celebration that had been held for her just one floor above me.

Then we headed out of the downtown area into an older, very stately neighborhood to show me the house she and Ella would be moving into when it was finished.

"I actually have the keys so we can go right in." Gail announced as she pulled into the driveway of the two-storey brick house.

The electricity was turned off inside, so Gail showed me around by the illumination of a construction worker's flashlight. As she did, her love for the place was evident, and her descriptions of the design plan for the restoration were so vivid that when she was through, I could picture what each of the twelve rooms would look like. I had no doubt it would be beautiful and I told her so.

"But aren't you and Ella going to rattle around in a place this big?" I asked when we ended up in what would be the formal living room, where a hand carved fireplace was being restored to its initial splendor.

"It won't be just Ella and me forever," Gail answered.

"Oh, that's right, you're going to fill it with those two or three kids you want. And a wife, I presume." I said.

"Yep." She confirmed.

The living room had two floor-to-ceiling picture windows, and enough moonlight flooded through to them to allow Gail to turn off the flashlight. She set it on the mantel and led me to the ledge of one of the windows to sit in the milky glow, angled enough to rest our backs against the sides of the frame to face each other.

"What if you never find the wife or have the kids?" I asked then.

"I'm not worried about that," Gail said as if she knew something I didn't.

"Confidence is good," I conceded.

Gail merely smiled and watched me so intently it made me aware of the warmth emanating from her eyes. But returning her gaze was dangerous so I returned to the subject of the house for safety's sake.

"How long have you been working on this place?" I asked.

"I've owned it for almost four years, but the renovation only began a few months ago."

"Why is that?"

"Buying it seemed to be instrumental in the demise of my marriage."

I recalled her saying she was divorced and I was too curious about what had happened to resist pushing on the door that her comment opened.

To spur Gail on, I said, "Your wife at the time didn't like the house?"

"She said she did or I wouldn't have bought it; but once it was ours and Ella was on the way, things started to fall apart."

"Isn't that stuff supposed to be a step forward in life?"

"That was what I thought, but the whole family thing –a house and a baby – was more what I wanted than what Rachel did. I'd talked her into it, but I thought that she went along with it all because she wanted it too."

"But you were wrong?" I surmised.

"Oh, boy was I wrong. She said she'd agreed because she'd known it would make me happy and she'd thought she could grow to like it. But she just couldn't. By the time she had given birth to Ella she wanted out of it all-parenthood, the house, the marriage. She was-she is-an analyst for CSIS and that's what she wanted to devote herself to. So two months after Ella was born, she left."

"You and Ella or all of Toronto?"

"Me and Ella and Toronto. She asked for a job transfer to an undisclosed location. I haven't heard from her, least until today. When my brother told me she's been trying to find me."

"I'm sorry." I said, seeing in her expression how much of a shock that had been for Gail and how difficult too. "Do you know what she wants?"

"No I don't and I don't intend to find out." Gail admitted but her answer showed strain and uncertainty. I couldn't imagine dealing with an ex who abandoned me and our child, only to want to communicate two years later. But Gail smiled a small smile. "It's okay, I have Ella."

"Ella and this house." I reminded.

"Right, but the renovations couldn't get underway while the divorce stuff was happening. So I bunked with my sister and her partner until we got through everything, then when the apartment next to my brother's became available, I rented it."

"It all sounds very complicated," I observed.

"The divorce or the renovation?" Gail asked with a laugh.

"Both, but particularly the end of the marriage."

"Relationships usually are pretty complicated or haven't you had any that have taught you that?"

"Oh very smooth." I laughed, commenting on her probing segue.

Gail grinned. "Hey, if you can wonder about my past. I can wonder about yours."

So she'd seen through me.

But I couldn't take offense to the fact that Gail wanted to know as much as me as I wanted to know about her. Actually, I liked that she was interested.

"I've really only had one serious relationship," I began. "I was engaged until about a year ago. To Rebecca Thornhart – woman with child."

Gail laughed at my delivery of the information, since I'd said it as if it were the title of a superhero cartoon. "Her having a child was apparently a big deal?"

"It ended up being the _biggest_ deal. She shared custody with her ex-wife so she had Matthew at least half the time."

"How old was Matthew?"

"Four."

"No diapers," Gail commented on a positive note.

"No, no diapers. But even after the baby stage, I'm a failure as a parent."

"What did you do to come to that conclusion? Forget food and water?"

"I lost him," I said bluntly, a twinge of the terror the incident had caused echoing in my voice.

"You lost him," Gail repeated.

"Rebecca was very intent that I get into the role of mother, so she had me take Matthew on my own one Saturday to play mom. I had the whole day planned out-toy store, park, lunch at McDonald's, a movie in the afternoon."

"Sounds good."

"We never got past the toy store. That's where I lost him."

"How did you do that?"

"I took a work call. Not a long one and Matthew was right there by my side looking at some action figures when the call started. Then I hung up and he was nowhere around; he was literally by my side one minute and gone the next and I couldn't find him."

Gail shook his head sympathetically. "That's a horrible feeling."

"I was in a total panic. I went up and down every aisle calling for him, but he was just not there. I got the store manager involved, and when he couldn't find Matthew either he called the police. The police called Rebecca's ex-wife. We were all upset and scared and thinking the worst. It was awful…" And the full impact of it all reverberated through me just recalling how horrible it had been. Gail must have noticed because she took my hand to hold between hers.

"That's what you meant when you said you made the evening news?"

"Apparently reporters listen in on police scanners, so they picked up on the story. It aired at five and six o'clock and Matthew was found about seven that night."

"Was he okay?"

"Scared, but okay. He spotted a dog just outside the store and ran to see it while I was on the phone. The dog was loose and Matthew had followed it to catch it. By the time he did, he was blocks away from the store and didn't know his way back, but he kept trying and got farther and farther away until the police finally found him."

"I think I know that case, my colleague Andy McNally was the officer in charge," Gail recalled. "I guess you hadn't done so well on the mom test."

"She was," I confirmed. "And that's a huge understatement. When we finally got Matthew back, Rebecca's ex-wife blew up. She called her lawyer on the spot and ordered him to start proceedings to have Rebecca's joint custody removed for leaving Matthew with someone incompetent. That put Rebecca over the edge and she completely turned on me. She called me some pretty ugly things, said I was going to cost her her son, that if she couldn't even trust me to babysit, how was she to trust me to be a third parent to her son. By the time I got home that night we were history and I knew better than to think I could ever be a parent."

Gail looked down at my hand she was holding, rubbing gently, soothingly. "So that's what all your self-doubt stems from."

"It stems from the lesson I learned that I'm a walking disaster when it comes to children," I insisted.

"You know, having a four-year old wander away from you can happen to anybody."

"Not if you're watching them like a hawk, which is what I should have been doing."

"So maybe that's the lesson you learned, and because you learned it, taking your eyes off a child that you are responsible for is a mistake you'll never make again. Maybe the lesson doesn't have to be that you're a disaster with children."

"Have you met Camden? The baby I'm a total klutz with? The baby you had to feed and change after I'd left him crying for hours because I didn't have the foggiest idea what to do for him?"

"But now you do."

"But how long before his needs won't be the same? And I won't know what to do with his needs then? Or the ones after that?"

"You learn, Holly," Gail said quietly. But I only learned from mistakes that could do harm, I thought.

I didn't say it though, up to that point the evening had been great and the last thing I wanted to ruin it with was conversation that made me feel bad. So I said, "I thought this was supposed to be a night off?"

Gail smiled again. "For parents, even nights off usually involve some talk about children."

"Okay, we've done that part, now let's move on."

Gail laughed. "Yes, ma'am." Then she let her gaze take a slow roll from my face all the way down my body and back again before she said, "The more I look at you tonight, the more blown away I am by how beautiful you are—shall we talk about that instead?"

"For hours and hours," I joked with mock vanity even as her compliment instantly chased away the bad feelings that that risen from telling her about the worst moment in my life.

"You know, I like you way too much," Gail confided with a sexy half smile.

"In some provinces there are laws against that, Officer Peck.

"Lucky for me Ontario isn't one of them." she winked.

Then she stood suddenly and removed her coat and scarf to lie on the window seat, and crossed to where one of the workmen had left a radio.

Gail turned it on and changed it from a salsa station to one playing dated, slow love songs. With the volume just high enough to make it background music, Gail retraced her steps to me and took my hand again, this time to pull me to my feet rather than to comfort me.

"Dance with me," she ordered in a tone that didn't allow me to refuse.

Not that I wanted to. Because while I wasn't the best dancer, being eased into those arms that wrapped around me was something I had no complaints about and in truth, what we ended up doing was marginally dancing. Really it was just an excuse for Gail to hold me close as we swayed in the moonlight, my breast pressed close to hers and my palms against the expanse of her back while she massaged mine.

It was easy for me to forget the bad recollection of that other relationship, that other attempt at motherhood. It was easy for me to get swept up in the moment, in the return of the pleasant part of the evening, easy to relax again.

"This is nice," I confessed in an almost whisper, looking at Gail.

"Oh yeah," she agreed as if that was a vast understatement, smiling another small smile as moon glow dusted her features and showed me all over again just how beautiful she was.

Then she titled her mouth to mine, capturing it with warm parted lips. And every minute of mentally reliving the kiss of the previous evening seemed wasted. Because nowhere in those memories was it as good as the real thing.

Tonight there was no hesitancy, no tentativeness. Right from the start, Gail kissed me as if that was exactly what she wanted to be doing, as if she had no doubts about it. Certainly I didn't. How could I when, the very moment her mouth found mine, I knew that was what I'd been craving since she'd left the night before.

Gail's tongue came to say hello then, testing the edges of my teeth, courted my tongue with mischief. I was only too willing to play that game, to follow her lead. Her massage of my back grew sensual as firm fingers made sexy circles.

It felt good. So good.

So good I longed to feel it everywhere. To have her hands everywhere and just the thought of that turned my nipples into solid pebbles that nudged against hers in an unintentional message. A message my own hands also conveyed as I brought them around to Gail's front, exploring her own hardening nipples from outside the dress I wished would disappear so I could see and feel her bare torso, her shoulders, her flat stomach. But if I couldn't see it all, maybe I could at least feel it.

Emboldened by kisses that had become a wide-open plundering of my mouth; I pulled down the front zipper of Gail's dress and slipped my hand inside. Satin over steel - that was what she felt like and I reveled in the sensation, in the splendor of well-toned female flesh.

The touch of my hand seemed to do something to Gail as she abandoned my mouth to kiss the side of my neck, to flick the tip of her tongue into the hollow of my throat, to kiss my shoulder, my collarbone and then a path that took her much lower as she slid the straps of my dress off my shoulder and let it fall midway down the upper swell of my breast so she could kiss me there too.

My head fell back slightly with pure pleasure of what Gail was doing to me as she took one breast into her palm and bared the other in her seeking mouth, taking it into that warm, wet, velvet cove of delight.

Gail traced the outer portions of my nipple with the tip of her tongue. She flicked the rock-hard crest. She teased it with her teeth as her other hand caressed me, kneaded me, tugged at that nipple and brought things to life within me. Things that actually made me want to rip her dress off to expose her and allow myself at least a part of what I was yearning for so desperately.

But rather than tearing her clothes off, I pulled the zipper down further slipping the dress off her shoulders, sliding my hands inside her dress again to find her breasts and her own taut nipples that begged to be touched.

Gail moaned a little and I liked that. I liked that something I did could elicit that kind of response from her. I liked that I could please her. I also liked how deeply she was drawing me into her mouth as I bent forward enough to kiss her shoulder, to tantalize it with my own tongue as I thought about doing so much more, about Gail doing so much more to me…

But just then the lights of a car passing by flashed into the room and even the momentary brightness seemed to shine light on other things in my mind. On the resurfacing of those thoughts about my relationship with Rebecca. On the fact that like Rebecca, Gail was a woman with a child, with a potential ex-wife problem looming in the background. She would also never understand, if I decided to give up Camden. Camden who at the moment was in my apartment with a babysitter Gail had chosen.

And something about all that put a damper on what I had been enjoying so freely before. It put it into a different perspective. A perspective that certainly didn't leave me feeling free anymore.

"Maybe we should think about this," I heard myself say, my voice quiet and ragged.

Gail kissed her way back up to my mouth, taking it for one more brief moment with her before she said.

"I wasn't thinking about anything else."

"But maybe we should."

"Okay. What should we think about?" she asked as her lips brushed my earlobe.

"About not rushing into…this."

Gail groaned a deep, guttural complaint but she hooked both index fingers under the straps of my dress and lifted them to my shoulders again.

"I hate the voice of reason," she told me as she kissed first one shoulder then the other, where my straps were now back in place to hold my dress where it belonged.

"I know," I agreed, fighting a wave of disappointment that she'd complied with my request to stop. "But-."

"But you're probably right." She retrieved my coat and helped me into it. "What are we going to do here anyway? Roll around in sawdust?" I laughed, not telling her that a part of me was willing to do just that."

Gail kissed me again, lightly, and then let go of me. She re-zipped her dress and shrugged on her coat, then moved to the radio to turn it off. Then she returned to me and took my hand, bringing it to her mouth to kiss the back of it softly. She looked at me with those breathtaking ocean blue eyes and said, "I suppose I'd better get you home."

"I suppose," I agreed, wondering if I should have really ended what I was still craving so deeply it was an ache inside me, but Gail didn't give me a chance. Instead, keeping hold of my hand, she led me out of the house.

The ride home was short and what little either of us said along the way was only small talk. Back at my apartment Gail paid the babysitter who left a few minutes later and collected Ella who had been asleep in the guest room. Then she and I were at my door and good-nights were all that was left.

With her free hand, Gail touched the side of my face and leaned forward to kiss me, tenderly, sweetly, and with passion still simmering beneath the surface.

"So there you have it," she whispered then, smiling a knee-weakening smile. "I promised you a night to prove that you could still have a full life even as a parent and I think we covered just about all the bases," she said with insinuation in her tone.

"Are you telling me it was all just for demonstrative purposes?" I joked, referring to our teasing banter of the afternoon.

Her smile stretched to a grin. "Maybe not _all_ of it, but you can't have any doubts left that you can be a parent and a woman, too, can you?

"And if I say I still have doubts?" I countered with some insinuation of my own even though we were both well aware that we weren't going to continue what we had started at her house.

"Okay, right here, right now, in the hallway, I'm all yours."

I laughed softly hoping not to wake Ella. "Sorry, you're just too eager."

"Oh, you have no idea," Gail muttered under her breath, but then she kissed me again and took a step away, lingering a moment before her supple mouth eased into a wicked grin and she said. "But there's always tomorrow."

I had to laugh even as a little skitter of excitement ran up my spine at the possibilities of what the new day might bring.

"Tomorrow," I confirmed. Then, just to be ornery, I added. "With your family on Christmas Eve."

It was Gail's turn to laugh, but she didn't refute it. She took a breath deep enough to push out her chest, which caused Ella to stir in her arm. Sighed it out as if she was giving in to something she didn't really want to give into and smiled once more at me. "I'll see you tomorrow," she confirmed.

The last thing I saw before closing the door was her beautiful face then her shapely derrière heading down the hall with Ella. They were mental pictures I took to bed with me. So I could savor in my mind what I'd denied myself so shortly before at her house. It was just that the fantasy was a poor substitute when what I wanted right to the very center of my being was the real thing.


End file.
